It’s A Gift

This week I read an article that said girls were having sex at age 12 and I was horrified. there were other things mentioned in the article about how young people interact with others through social media and playing games that involved nudity. How is this a thing? how can a 12 year old even know the implications of sexual intercourse. I want to blame the parents who are unaware of this. Do they not think a person should be a child as long as possible without worrying about sexual things. I mean perhaps the world has lost the understanding of how important and special the first time should be, not just to have sex for the sake of it at least not at age 12. You don’t even know yourself at that age much less understand your body and what is happening to it. Being a female is hard enough without adding this crap on top of it.

Perhaps this is my belief cause I think there should be feelings involved and a lot of attraction between two people and not done just because it can be. I am on the outskirts because i want to be a wife before I give up that gift to a man who loves me. I do struggle with the sensations in my body and the want consuming me but I know myself and that’s a huge step, To me I know that the first time is a big thing that I’ll remember forever. I just haven’t had that experience and I know my choice is unusual but I am proud wait. Is this the generation I am – hardly. I recall several friends telling me they had had experiences and I got used to that but i have no issue with others business particularly of this kind and what they o. How does that affect me? I am just worried about these millennials that are engaging in these acts before they are responsible for themselves. It makes me scared for their generation, how can you not be true yo yourself. Being an original and unique makes a better story.

I will admit what I know of this act is from words and from people’s descriptions but I have never had a problem with someone not accepting my decision. Maybe it’s just a joke now because most likely me entire high school class is probably now well experienced but do I care? no. I feel like I am missing something but we all joke and make light of this sex thing to make it seem less of a big thing but it is a big thing to me. It always be, even when eventually it happens. Every little thing affects me. I remember the first boy I danced with at a school social and my first crush. And it may just be but that is who I am. It’s not an obvious thing, I don’t resonate with the glow of virginity but I won’t shy away from admitting it either. It is something I am extremely proud of and I will admit to not being religious, I just have my beliefs and morals that I set for myself to live by and to keep me safe.

I can read and write these things, my story is different but I am not a princess. I am a 28 year old woman who hasn’t experienced the act of love but I don’t regret that. I would rather go to the grave with my decisions than give up my gift for the wrong reasons. I hope I’m not the only one who feels it’s a special thing that should be treasured but i am one of a dying breed.