To me this is an important number. The decades of my life are relevant to my story. The tens within my life and the years that corresponded. We define ten years as a decade and how much can happen within just one. Technology changes, musical styles and politics. I’ve lived in four decades, two centuries and two millenniums and I’m only in my late twenties. I’m a part of generation Y, also known as the MTV generation, the harry potter generation and the me generation yet I can’t recall ever having watched MTV, I am not harry potter crazy and I like to think I am not completely selfish.
It’s been ten years since I graduated high school Ten years since I pulled on my uniform for the last time and walked the corridors of that school. Ten years on and I feel like I’ve done nothing. I wouldn’t want to go back to myself at eighteen at all, I have come so far from the insecure, naive teenager I was then but today I am challenging myself and feel more confident about many things. I had dreams then about how my future would be, that by my current age I’d be married with kids but that never happened. I saw the future as a dangerous thing and I still have that fear. There’s an upcoming reunion ahead and part of me dreads the questions that’ll come. The people I went to school with will undoubtedly ask me what my career is? Why I’m still single? But the only thing I’ll be able to say is I’m a more confident person now than I want then. And yes I may still be single but I don’t want to settle for the wrong one.
At ten years old I’d fought three years of bullying and had self-esteem issues. I lived in the make believe world of dolls and was beginning an addiction to music. I had my first crush at ten and walls filled with magazine posters. This was the year I began another three years with a choir and discovered my love of singing and the last at my first primary school. I barely recall being this age now but little things remain in my mind. Ten was the beginning of the end of my childhood, the next year I began that thing called puberty and adolescence crept in along with the thing called peer pressure and social acceptance.
It amazes me to think that people ten years my junior are maybe going through the same things I have done and then some. There are eighteen year olds that have children and travelling the world and maybe that’s the right thing for them but could they be missing something that I have. They are the social media generation, they discuss things endlessly online and don’t know a world without the internet. I crave the time before the internet revolution. Call me old fashioned but I’d like to believe I could raise my kids without them being spoiled or not spoiled, to find a middle ground. I know that’s a generalisation as they are not all like that as I am not the typical type of mine.
Ten years from now makes me wonder, what will I be at 38 years old? Will the world still seem bright and sunshiny? Perhaps I’ll belong in someone’s heart and another someone will call me Mama. Will I be in a career that I enjoy and rocking a lifestyle of health?