They say a man softens when his child is born but I know this not to always be the case. Some men are not able to see the way their lives are changing because of another life. They are determined to continue their previous lifestyle unable to commit to the new unfolding before their eyes. They want to stay out late at night, drinking and partying and not accept the choice they made when they asked a question. Trying to hold onto the years of adolescence and freedom but growing up occurs and it can’t be ignored. Some men seem to think walking away is the end of it but you’ve made a choice you’ve made a life with someone you’re meant to love. You chose your destiny that day you asked for the white dress and decided you wanted a little version of yourself running around. It will never escape you.

Then there are some men that do anything for their child, it changes them completely and utterly and everything they do is with their child in mind. Fatherhood is not an easy thing but it can be a joy when you give it its due. It like motherhood is the most intense and fulfilling job there is. I’ve seen these connections through my life, I’ve seen relationships that are treasured and nurtured and blossom to the best thing a child could wish and I’ve seen the ones that need work.

I’m not at this point yet, where I have my own ability to hold my child in my arms but I am surrounded by the little minds that adore and see the world through rainbows and they are some of the best parts of my world. My baby cousins I adore and would do anything for, I’ll protect with my everything because a little person should be able to see only the purest love and the brightest stars in the world. They should have the hope given to them that they can dance on the moon and climb any mountain.

I know I’ll do whatever it takes to give my future children the best things I can and this includes their father. I will be picky about the man that claims my heart and theirs. I don’t want to raise a child on my own. I feel I’m not that strong but if I must I will, I will find a way but yet a part of me knows that all of this may not be part of my life plan at all. I may be destined to travel or inspire others instead of bring life to this world. Perhaps that is ok, even though the thought breaks my heart. It was the thing I wanted ever since I could remember, to be a wife and mother so I’m praying that the man who claims my heart is a decent, honest, loyal man who’ll treasure our children and love me like I do him. I can’t go through this life without experiencing this desire.

It’s a struggle for anyone, the immensity of making choices and children need constant attention and nurture but they are so filled with love and unburdened by the things that bother the world of an adult. I know most of the world is an amazing place and I hope the mothers,fathers and their children seek these moments and appreciate them because some people don’t have the luxury to feel that complete love and some may never due to circumstances.


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