Christmas Time

 

 

xmas

It’s a lot like magic in most cases or at least in the eyes of a child. A magical enchantment that the world goes crazy for but I’m not a child and some of the magic is gone now. Don’t get me wrong I love it; the carols and the lights and the paid day off work but it’s not the same and I don’t mean the presents even though those are not what I recall the most. I grew up believing Christmas was supposed to be about family. Loved ones being thankful for each other but now I find each year it’s different, the majority of my family still try but others have grown selfish and forget that our plans don’t change. This year my brother is in Germany for his honeymoon which overlaps with Christmas and it’s the first one I’ll spend without him. It feels like everyone is scattering and I’m still holding onto childish ideals. I just want Christmas to be a time to be grateful for the ones I love but some may not feel the same any more forgetting that family is more than blood.

As a child I never slept on Christmas Eve, I was always too excited. I was that child that was eager to open presents but had to wait till 9am to do so. Christmas music filled the lounge room while dad filmed the presents that meant the most and the joy of opening one. I remember the travel between each location and the year I was too old for presents from everyone. But that was childhood and I am no longer a child so the magic has died. I never expected to reach a point where the wonder just left and emptiness is slowly arriving in its place. I’ve cried tears this Christmas, tears of grief for a now forgotten tradition, for not having true love for another year, at watching other family members achieve something while my year has not changed extensively.

Christmas is simply one day of the year that the world has taken to an extreme. A mad rush at the shopping centre in the weeks leading up. Too much. Where did the meaning go? And lots of people are bringing up the traditional meaning but as I said it’s about more. In merely one week it’s a brand new year where Easter will arrive far too early, would it be different this time of year if I had a significant other? Or if I had the chance to see the magic through the eyes of my own childhood. Now it’s just a day with food and silly hats.

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