A three week holiday to discover a wondrous place. The first of many to come. Yet to me I feel a panic. The plane will be late, our bags will be lost or the hotel won’t be open. Yes this is my first big solo holiday (with my friends) so my reaction is to panic. I am hoping it will be ok. But maybe I don’t possess the travel bug at all. Maybe my big adventure is just to live and not seek travel experiences. Or it could be the first of many trips, I could travel the world and love it. I could turn into a person that loves new places and experiences or I’ll be content with my small adventures. My idea of adventure at the moment is living one day at a time so how did I take the leap and decide to travel overseas and how did it sneak up so fast, I feel like I’m not prepared enough or I’ve made a wrong choice. I push too far and left myself open to destruction.
I didn’t spend my dreams on travel and exotic locations. I just wanted to keep everyone safe and in my circle of security. I wanted to have my own adventure whilst watching them actually live theirs. So maybe it is time I have my own adventure and send my anxiety into a spin. My dreams of adventure are tangled within the web of anxiety. The greatest adventure I seek is life, to live with a full heart and fall in love with as much as I can and maybe eventually someone. But it’s all an adventure to me. It’s an uncertain future with holes and high trellises to climb. Overcoming those is my adventure and finding the right tools to use. But at the end of the day you can only prepare for an adventure to a certain point. The whole reason for adventures is to tackle yourself and discover who you really are. It’s a moment away from reality where challenges present themselves. Maybe that’s just what I need.
To live is an adventure and to love is an adventure. I said to myself I’d live without fear but too much adventure creates a friction inside my heart. I like a simple adventure, I like knowing the road ahead is still and calm, that I have a rock to base things upon. Life is crazy and adventure is crazy, life is an adventure and I stand on an ice tip watching the iceberg melt into the ocean but do I go down with it? Or do I swim for as long as I can and risk the adventure and the chance of disruption. If I stay on the tip I’m giving up and letting go but if I swim I kind of tried to prevent it. I can swim against the tide, I can fight and I can try with every part of me to survive. I just can’t decide what to do but I am not in that place so that iceberg is only a possibility.
So adventure is not the same to us all, we have a sense of our own reality and awareness of our limits. We have to set a path we believe in and accept that there will be stumbling blocks along the way that we can handle. Life is not a setting sun, always filled with colour and purpose. Sometimes it is simply a night of blackness with few stars to remind us of our sparkle. The things that make life an adventure for us. Essentially it is life that we must face, be our own explorer and climb mountains, fly rockets to the moon or jump from a building on a rope. Set our hearts alight with passion and purpose. We face adventure every day and in small ways we take on the challenges and climb walls to kick them over. Adventure is what you make it.