Perhaps I thought there was something different now, that you cared more than it seems you do. Not once since I’ve been back have you gotten out of your own world to even bother saying welcome back. You’re so wrapped up in your own world that you can’t see how involved with that you have become that maybe you have begun to neglect other areas of your life. Forgotten that cultivating old friendships is still a priority. Yes you make new ones but how did you learn to be a friend first; through the ones that you had all along. I suppose that’s my sign that the things I was thinking are negative to you, that there was a one sided thought in my mind that I will no longer want to activate. For I believed that maybe there had been a line crossed; that you had decided something instead of focusing on just one thing. Yes you go with the flow but seems you forget many things in your pursuit of achievement. It takes effort to achieve everything, but you don’t seem to be making an effort with me so you’ve made the decision for me, you’ve made me decide to steer clear. It’s your move now, I’m not starting anything this time around. It has to be your choice and you need to remember me on your own.
You’re always around in my sphere but I’ll need to make a concerted effort to just not care any more. I don’t wish you harm but I must admit I have had enough of toying myself around on a line. This year you make the move and let’s see how long it takes you and if you do, how it happens and if I actually care at that point. I’ll refrain from adding my thoughts to things I see and correcting your grammatical errors because yes that drives me bonkers but what will it be like on your end if I just become invisible to some degree in your life. Perhaps that will be my aim this year; to distance myself from you and see if you remember and if you actually care. So now it’s your move now so why don’t you try for once looking outside your own endeavours and realising that other people exist and perhaps get a hint that you should be aware of them too.
The whole point of life is how you can help others, this I have discovered from my recent holidays. It’s all wonderful to be self-aware but the true way we become self-aware is by our interactions with others and the things we help them to achieve. And during that same holiday I found myself wondering about you on several occasions and I had to pull myself back because I know you are not wondering about me. So there you go, my cards are on the table as I’m sure you know and now it’s your turn. I’m not even sure you’ll read this or know it’s about you but maybe you will? I’m not trying to be challenge what you believe or what you accomplishing simply putting out my thoughts and feelings, I know on some level you know me and I hope you’ll forgive this post but I needed it written. It’s been stuck within me for far too long and I needed to express it somehow. I hope you can understand somehow and realise that I have to do this for myself. I need to distance myself to figure out what I want and how to work through these feelings brought up within me. So as I said it’s your move now and this is your opportunity to prove me wrong or right.