Your Move Now

Perhaps I thought there was something different now, that you cared more than it seems you do. Not once since I’ve been back have you gotten out of your own world to even bother saying welcome back. You’re so wrapped up in your own world that you can’t see how involved with that you have become that maybe you have begun to neglect other areas of your life. Forgotten that cultivating old friendships is still a priority. Yes you make new ones but how did you learn to be a friend first; through the ones that you had all along. I suppose that’s my sign that the things I was thinking are negative to you, that there was a one sided thought in my mind that I will no longer want to activate. For I believed that maybe there had been a line crossed; that you had decided something instead of focusing on just one thing. Yes you go with the flow but seems you forget many things in your pursuit of achievement. It takes effort to achieve everything, but you don’t seem to be making an effort with me so you’ve made the decision for me, you’ve made me decide to steer clear. It’s your move now, I’m not starting anything this time around. It has to be your choice and you need to remember me on your own.

You’re always around in my sphere but I’ll need to make a concerted effort to just not care any more. I don’t wish you harm but I must admit I have had enough of toying myself around on a line. This year you make the move and let’s see how long it takes you and if you do, how it happens and if I actually care at that point. I’ll refrain from adding my thoughts to things I see and correcting your grammatical errors because yes that drives me bonkers but what will it be like on your end if I just become invisible to some degree in your life. Perhaps that will be my aim this year; to distance myself from you and see if you remember and if you actually care. So now it’s your move now so why don’t you try for once looking outside your own endeavours and realising that other people exist and perhaps get a hint that you should be aware of them too.

The whole point of life is how you can help others, this I have discovered from my recent holidays. It’s all wonderful to be self-aware but the true way we become self-aware is by our interactions with others and the things we help them to achieve. And during that same holiday I found myself wondering about you on several occasions and I had to pull myself back because I know you are not wondering about me. So there you go, my cards are on the table as I’m sure you know and now it’s your turn. I’m not even sure you’ll read this or know it’s about you but maybe you will? I’m not trying to be challenge what you believe or what you accomplishing simply putting out my thoughts and feelings, I know on some level you know me and I hope you’ll forgive this post but I needed it written. It’s been stuck within me for far too long and I needed to express it somehow. I hope you can understand somehow and realise that I have to do this for myself. I need to distance myself to figure out what I want and how to work through these feelings brought up within me. So as I said it’s your move now and this is your opportunity to prove me wrong or right.

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14 thoughts on “Your Move Now

  1. If you must cry then cry. If you must scream then scream. If you must hit something hit your mattress.
    Try to understand that people are not mind readers. Consider that perhaps the person you wrote this post for, has no idea how you feel. Tell the person how you feel and why you feel that way and what you expect from them. So they will be able to respond and attend to your problem you have with them. Or this will forever be a one sided problem. You owe it to yourself to face your problems and find answers.

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      1. I don’t normally like romantic stories and movies because they are usually so predictable and boring, but your story is so raw and has the elements of a variety of subjects. I’m actually waiting in anticipation to read the second chapter. I’m hoping you’ll do a follow up post. It’s so intriguing, like watching “The silence of the lambs”. Only that was about murder and yours is about love with a unique narrative.

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      2. what an amazing comment that is. Sure made my day. 🙂 yeah there is a follow up to it. I suppose this piece is more about self love/self respect which is how I came to the current answer about this person. I shall hopefully have it written up soon.

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      3. Is this a real life situation or fiction? You right like something is about to happen and I can already feel the intensity in the post. If it’s a real life situation your a very intense person. Then you should definitely talk to the other person, before things get out of control. Relationship needs constant care and nourishment and if it lacks communication you will need extra patients, understanding, self control and empathy but those relationships are usually more rewarding and longer lasting.

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      4. It’s based on a real life situation. The person I mention is someone I’m close to and thought maybe there was something more happening but now I realise that I want something different.

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      5. Oh. I’m sorry you feel misled. I was once in a similar situation only I was on the receiving end. Long story short v. the other person felt rejected but I thought we were good all because of miscommunication. 😍 I still keep him in high regard and have a lot of respect for him, even though I’m totally confused by his recent behaviour.

        If you spoke to the person and he confirmed that he does not feel the same way you do, then your on the right track but if you are assuming he has rejected you then you really need to reevaluate the situation.

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      6. Good for you👍 Now you can explore your other options. I’m trying to explore mine but I haven’t seen anyone I am interested in. I don’t know if it has anything to do with age but all the good looking guys seemed to have vanished.😭

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