Thinking Too Much

If I think too much everything can become a blur and old things arise too to blind my present. Perhaps a part of me needs perfection and yet another knows the future is ever changing. I ponder things that may occur and I fear the change that comes. The uncertainty of planning the next overseas trip and the research that involves. But there is an excitement that resounds from the adventure ahead. The beautiful beaches and sunsets and the chance of a lifetime. I’ve talked myself into it and yet apprehension follows. In ten months the world I see will be a Jamaican sunrise with my best friend. However I know the fear is simply a mask, maybe a way to talk myself out of it. But if I did that I would regret it for the rest of my life. So the only thing to be done is welcome the opportunity and accept the fear that accompanies it. And try my hardest to enjoy the moments before time runs out.

I’ve heard a lot about love and those relationships but I wonder if that door is closed to me for a reason. I can ponder it all day but really is it changing anything? Do I honestly want to know or am I content to believe the tales of a cat lady I shall be. I know it occupies my mind and I long to fill the emptiness I have. Still I have an independent streak and I’m unable to hide how much I enjoy my own interests and time currently. I am learning to love myself and if I can’t do that how can someone else? I am surrounded by other kinds of love but it is not the same. There are friends I hold dear to my heart and family that keep me sane but my heart is not complete. I am content with my current position I suppose, that I am learning about life and how I can explore it but the years are passing somewhat quicker and it all seems too much.

It can sometimes be hard to switch focus when a negative thought emerges or when someone brings along chaos into my world. I am all about respect but sometimes I would like a day that is only positive and inspirational. To rid the part of me that feels the need to take on other’s baggage and the effort it takes to respond is exhausting. I won’t live my life for someone else but pushing away the negativity is hard. Yet there’s only so much one person can take. I can only encourage others and I guess the same is for myself. Encouragement is amazing and support shows much to all. Positive thoughts or at least constructive have a much better impact on people than criticism and negativity. That is the way to involve ourselves in the world and make our mark with enthusiasm and inspiration. To encourage those around us as much as possible.

So we all have dreams and things we want to achieve in our future. Have you got the goals to support it? The means to achieve your wishes. Will it take a chance or perhaps it’ll be some hard work required but regain your attitude and you can become whatever you believe. But there’s something we need to learn when things don’t go our way and our reactions to that. If at every stumbling block we declare failure, everything will become so instead of discovery and learning more about the process than the actual outcome. If all we ever did was achieve then what would we learn. We’d only ever have success and never know the extent of not achieving after a failure. Yes the dreams are individual but they are also changing our methods are the ways that will help us through and with the ability to be flexible anything is possible.



One thought on “Thinking Too Much

  1. My case is totally different from yours. I have them guys walk up to me and want to have a relationship and be with me. Alas, we discover that we can’t be together. They can’t cope with me. They can’t be with a writer. It is challenging for them. They are attention seekers! They can’t deal with my moods! They can’t deal with my enthusiastic nature when I make discoveries. I might be famous someday and they can’t even deal with that either. How do I tie myself to be married to someone who loves my personality but cannot cope with the responsibilities that comes with who I am?

    I know there is someone out there who will fit. These ones don’t “cut” it.


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