Holes

 

There are people that seem to slip through the cracks of society. They are simply trying to make it through the day. They are not interested in changing or being a part of this big thing. In searching for a way to change the world or cure diseases. They simply yearn for something simple – a life with a soul mate. The laughter of one’s own children and a home secured in a million ways. There are holes these people slip through and none can return easily. The world forgets them and they remain in holes until they are forced to try. They develop scars by these actions because their actions are not welcomed by others. Slowly these scars form a part of them and become their identity, they bury themselves within the security of scars. Their true selves hidden only shown to a select few who can battle the walls or have similar ones. With holes you see the world differently and you see people in another light.

See that small tear in the fabric of your favourite piece of clothing, if you pick at it and obsess over it or try to fix it or even become angry by its existence. Is that how you feel about people who don’t fit the mould of the world’s current expectations? Aren’t we all filled with tears and holes and hearts repaired with tape. Everyone knows what it feels to have been the one picked on somehow – a poorly chosen outfit or the music you love. These pickers don’t understand and they want attention. What you can’t see are their holes – breaking them to the point they search for others with small tears in increase others holes whilst making their own smaller ineffectively. The holes can make or break us and we all play a part with it. Holes come in various sizes and shapes on every single person in visible and not so visible ways.

Sometimes a hole is not even our own doing, another person has put us there and they may be the only one to rescue us. There are holes we put ourselves into, ones that form when we distance ourselves for reasons we believe important or for our survival. Can we ask for help? Not always. We get stuck in our ways and make these holes bigger on our own. We fall into others holes too by choice and by circumstance. When our holes are challenged – on the rare occasion they are we are forced to delve deeper into our thoughts and reactions. Did I get into the hole by own doing or was it due to someone else bringing up something within us? Something brought to the surface that we ran from or buried deep inside. Find that spot within you that initiated the hole and remember the event that created it. Is the hole bigger by thought or action and would you like it to be different somehow?

A hole; a small circle. Something missing in your life or heart. Was it something that used to be smaller or was it always big? Big that it affected you so dramatically the damage would always show. I feel tiny pieces of me get chipped away over time leaving chunks in my skin and changing my own image of myself. At times I feel the holes make me stronger and at others they are a curse I bare. I am responsible for a few of them and I can cover them with band aids or plaster but that’s a temporary fix. I know the only true way to recover these types of holes is to work through their existence and the foundation of their origin.

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