My body

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My body is a temple that I worship with nourishment and a connection to a balanced world. I can see my place in this world as a women with feelings, needs and desires that cannot be hidden. A person that feels all within her immediate space. My body is sparked by thoughts, it seeks release and desires connection to the mind and soul. It thrives on positive energy and light. I’ve worked so hard to reach this point where I’m happier with who I am and confident with my body as it is. To be deeply connected with my internal self and outside form at the same time. I feel the sensations of air on my skin, the way water feels as it trickles down my back or the fullness once nutrition is sustained. My body thrives on rest and recuperation. It feels and is stronger than even I know. I am connected to this body of mine, which is blooming and changing everyday as time goes on. This is the only body I was given and as such the one I must live with and identify with.

Take care of the inside and the outside follows. It’s a shining from within that completes the process and allows the inside and outside to come together in harmony. The mind changes out perception and our view of the world. I have a body that I’ve spent a lot of time fighting with but I have begun to learn to accept it for the flaws and the curves it offers. Instead of resisting and hating what it was and changing what I am able. I may not be able to change my height or my eye sight but they are now a part of my personality. My body is a wonderful working machine that requires movement and maintenance. What goes in must come out in some way. There are negative toxins that can be released in the brain but if you limit what you can then the way you become positive is a massive turning point. I know my body reacts to things emotionally – I have a penchant for tears, I take on the thoughts of others and I am affected by that, like the tides and moon I am connected to this body and all it contains.

If I bare my heart and admit all my body feels it’s a battle with my head and hormones. My body is yearning to explore, to know that connection to another in a physical form but my heart says no, my head simply rationalises the reasons for no and my hormones try to overrule it all. But ultimately whilst I am aware of it I suppress it. My head and heart winning the war. Things I set in stone at a younger age flaring up and long known fears retuning. My body recognises the stress as an unwelcome friend and attempts to both fight it and accept it. There’s no denial of these things occurring but my body remains in the battle zone. It tries to stumble through whilst everything bubbles below the surface. I just continue to take a step forward and hide when it seems right. Maybe it’s nothing to be ashamed of but still it’s only myself that knows the feeling.

Sometimes it feels like my body is revolting against me. It’s determined to spark a broken connection between my mind and body and falter any progress I’ve made. What a complex thing our bodies are filled with organs, blood, water and other matter mixed with emotion and feeling. The body is a sphere of life that completes all and challenges all. It is this marvellous thing that amazes and confuses. A body for life and always. Only one is what we are given and acceptance comes to all in time. The reason we struggle with medical conditions is unclear but we do. For me they seem to spring out of nowhere and attack my body all at once draining the emotional connection I have to my mind and body.

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