There’s piece of my heart now taken by a man. He has a part of mine too and for the longest time I had waited for him. Now it seems it’s as natural as breathing to have him in my life but my mind battles my heart for what it believes is normal. For a hint I’m not become insane or simply letting words out of my mouth. Do I want him more? Or simply not want to be alone? Do I see a future or is he a thing meant only for now? I’m sure relationships evolve over time and this one will too but just what will be its evolution? Maybe want is the wrong word but so long I have wanted him at least in theory and now there is a new level to the things I want. But I know it’s not about want, it’s time to follow the story of my heart, to take on the feelings and allow them to take me forward to whatever future we are destined to have, the two of us together. They all lead to a fate unknown but moments make me think and hope. My heart occupied with pieces of him and it makes me smile. How he became so important is such a short amount of time is a mystery but one I believe I am happy to be entangled in.
Is he the one the palm reader foresaw when I was fourteen. I recall her words as you will meet your true love when you are twenty eight and I was sceptical. But now at twenty nine perhaps there was some truth or I’ll let myself believe that. He now has this ability to make me smile and feel warm all over. He has taken a piece of my heart and I allowed him too. Wasn’t this what I believed I wanted, to feel a heart flutter and be embraced by love? Or is it simply different to how I imagined it would be? Isn’t that because I really don’t know any different and this is still something new for me. My heart longs for him and all that brings, this journey and yet part of me still wonders why. It’s lessening with time but that’s about me and not him. I have this amazing chance to challenge myself and see something I’ve never had before as mine. I suppose that how he sees me will only be reflected in his eyes and words and the way he treats me but so far it seems that both of those are gentle and sweet.
There are pieces I left behind when this all began, things I thought would become truth and others I believed would never occur. But somewhere along the way I picked up habits that have become a part of all I am. For such a long time I was just on my own, fighting for my independence that letting someone in wasn’t even an option and truthfully I don’t know how much I’ve let him in. I know there are times he can read my soul and my heart like it’s all written down on a piece of paper. I’ve had the times of wanting to push him away to keep my survival instinct intact but somehow he’s becoming a part of the survival need. There couldn’t be any other option but staying although my automatic reaction may be to fly. He’s bringing new pieces to me, pieces that bring the most intense feelings and dreams within me and I can feel myself changing while pieces of fear remain intact inside my heart.
With him I feel this magic in the air and safe in his arms as he encourages me forward to my life and already I’ve taken leaps and everything has been fine but naturally I overthink and as such overreact over such small details. There’s an immensity within me, that he brings out such intensity for me, the way he smiles or looks at me with that look of you are everything to me and I crave more yet that piece is a mystery as I struggle with all. I’m still in a sense of disbelief that this has finally happened. This romantic adventure that is taking me over. That my time with him feels like this epic thing. How is it that he caught my eye when I was a soul wondering? There are pieces I’m still trying to figure out, how all of them fit together and how to make all of it work. But the pieces will fall into place over time and all these little bits and bobs will become somehow insignificant.