I Want You


I want to stand next to you as the sunlight fades, to feel our hands entwine. To watch a sunset by your side. I want to feel my heart pound when you look at me in that way that says I’m special to you. To feel that calm wash over me as you talk me down from a mountain I’ve climbed. I want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to you watching me as you stroke my hair. I want to see the smile on your face when you think of me and I want to be held tightly while I cry, with kisses on my forehead in such a protective way. I want to be brave and take on new steps but I want to be safe and right too. I want you to follow your dreams and be happy while I find mine too. I want to just spend time with you, talking, cuddling, kissing or holding hands. You make me feel safe and challenge me too. I want to feel the epicness on a smaller scale and be rewarded with security. I want to  keep this feeling of giggles I get when you call me beautiful or say “I love you” it all means something I dreamt of and some sort of fairy-tale.

I want the traditional kind of things, the love letters and romance. I want to feel like a woman and I want to be able to acknowledge the things I want with you, right at this moment and into the future. I want to see you, hear your voice and hold your hand. I want to know this is what you believe in and want. Because somehow I want to rid myself of my fear and jump head first. I want to experience it all but I want a lifetime of memories and moments to cherish. I want you to know that sometimes I get angry with you and it means something, when you seem to slip away from me and all I can do is wonder. I want you to know that it hurts that sometimes I feel less important, that things seem to be running on your schedule. That sometimes I want to scream at you and take my frustrations out on you but I don’t want to begin an argument or admit that sometimes it hard to see a common interest between us.

I want you to know that every day I do fall a little bit more in love with you even though you drive me crazy sometimes too. But the love is real and it envelops me in this safe cocoon that makes me feel like I can do anything. I want to spend my days with you forever more and be able to tell the world that I love you so. That you’ve taken me on a journey to discover new things and helped me to explore new fragments of my mind, body and soul. I want to spend time with you in a variety of ways, whether it’s a movie or some sort of outing but I love the times we just sit and cuddle and you end up tickling me. I love how you can change my mind from such a serious mood to one of laughter and hilarity and how you can tell when I’m beginning a downward spiral. I simply love you for all of you. I love you for every little surprise you’ve done to make me smile and every tear you’ve helped to dry. I love you for holding me tight when the night seems like it’ll never end, when shadows take hold of my mind and you make it seem easier. You talk me down from a metaphorical edge of a cliff and help me reason why I’m about to jump off.

I want to spend my time with you, I’ve fallen for you and I have no intention of stopping this fall. I may not be able to tell the completeness of how you love me or I you but I am thankful for it. That you have given me something I dearly wanted; the chance to know what love is and how it feels to love and be loved. I want to keep exploring that with you, for you keep me going along this path of life with something close to confidence and hope. You fill me with belief and I want to keep that. I want to keep you, hold you and keep the ability to say the word boyfriend. I love you and that’s a pretty amazing thing.



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